Sept. 25, 2025
Building Confidentiality and Trust in Peer Support
Send me a text If your people don’t trust your peer support team, it won’t work. In this episode, you’ll learn how to protect confidentiality, build psychological safety, and create a culture where people know it’s safe to reach out. What good is a peer support team if no one feels safe enough to use it? Confidentiality isn’t just a policy, it’s the foundation of trust. And if your people don’t believe their conversations will be kept private, they’ll stay silent. That silence keeps people st...
If your people don’t trust your peer support team, it won’t work. In this episode, you’ll learn how to protect confidentiality, build psychological safety, and create a culture where people know it’s safe to reach out.
What good is a peer support team if no one feels safe enough to use it?
Confidentiality isn’t just a policy, it’s the foundation of trust. And if your people don’t believe their conversations will be kept private, they’ll stay silent. That silence keeps people stuck in pain, stress, and burnout.
In this episode, we’ll talk about what real confidentiality looks like, how to create psychological safety, and why one slip can damage your whole program.
You’ll also learn what peer supporters should say, how leadership can either support or sabotage the process, and how to build a culture where trust isn’t just a buzzword, it’s a lived experience.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL DISCOVER:
- The non-negotiable rules of confidentiality for peer supporters
- How to create psychological safety in every interaction
- Practical ways to build department-wide trust in your peer support program
If you want your peer support program to survive, confidentiality and trust aren’t optional; they’re everything.
OTHER LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Schedule a free discovery call
https://stresscaredoc.com/consultation
Peer Support & Crisis Training Info
https://stresscaredoc.com/training-courses
Download Confidentiality Playbook
https://survivingyourshift.com/playbook
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Connect with Bart
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bartleger
Facebook Page: facebook.com/survivingyourshift
Website: survivingyourshift.com
Want to find out how I can help you build a peer support program in your organization or provide training? Schedule a no-obligation call or Zoom meeting with me here.
Let's learn to thrive, not just survive!
WEBVTT
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If your people don't trust your peer support team, it's dead in the water. Today, we're talking about how to build a culture of confidentiality and psychological safety so your team doesn't just exist, it actually gets used.
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Welcome to Surviving Your Shift, your go-to resource for building strong, peer support teams in high-stress professions. I'm your host, Bart Leger, board-certified in traumatic stress with over 25 years of experience supporting and training professionals in frontline and emergency roles.
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Whether you're looking to start a peer support team, learn new skills, or bring training to your organization, this show will equip you with practical tools to save lives and careers.
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Hey, welcome back. Today, we're going to talk about something that can make or break your peer support team. And honestly, it's not even about training or funding or fancy forms. It's about trust. If your people don't believe they can safely open up to a peer supporter, they won't. Period. I don't care how well you've designed your team, how good your intentions are, or even how long someone's been in the department. If there's no trust, there's no support. And at the heart of trust is one thing, confidentiality. Now, if you've been in the emergency services long enough, you know how quickly word travels. Firehouses, squads, dispatch centers, they're small communities.
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People remember who talks too much, who bends the truth. And they know every single person who can't keep a secret. And so they will never tell them anything they don't want to get any further. And the minute someone suspects that what they say to a peer supporter might get repeated, they're going to shut down. And once that trust is broken, it's really hard to rebuild. So today, I want to walk through how to protect confidentiality and build trust so you can create a culture of psychological safety in your organization so that when someone's hurting, they know your peer support team is a safe place to go. Let's start with this foundational principle. And that is, confidentiality is the backbone of peer support.
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Without it, nothing else is going to work. Your team can be trained and organized. They can be as passionate as ever. But if someone spills private information, even if it's just once, you've just undermined the whole program. Trust isn't just earned. It needs to be protected.
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It has to be guarded intentionally and consistently.
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Now, you know your culture. The moment someone hears something they told you in confidence floating around the department, you're toast. And your peer support program is probably going down with you. So what does confidentiality actually look like in a peer support context? First, it means that anything shared in a peer support conversation stays between the peer supporter and the person unless there's a clear safety concern. That's the golden rule. If anyone shares that they're in danger of harming themselves, harming someone else, or if there's abuse involved, involving a child, yes, you have a duty to report or act. But outside of those specific circumstances, your job is to listen, support, and to hold space for them. not to share, even to debrief with a third party unless it's been clearly discussed. or judge them, the number of those seeking help is going to go up. the New York Fire Department wasn't just dealing with tough calls. They were living with loss every day.
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The department built a counseling unit that trained firefighters as peers. No fancy pitch, just a quiet promise that what you share with a peer stays with a peer. guys tested it with small stuff at first. Sleep issues, irritability, family strain, just to see if the wall of confidentiality would hold.
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Well, it did. Word spread that peers didn't take notes and didn't report back to bosses.
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And the peers didn't judge anyone. Usage grew because the trust grew. And years later, peer support is still a normal first step in that culture.
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keeping strict confidence can get a little tricky. A lot of well-meaning peer supporters break confidentiality without even realizing it. They might say something like, well, I was talking with someone earlier who's been struggling. And even though they don't name names, depending upon the size of your agency or department, everyone can sometimes figure out who it was. Or maybe they bring up details in a group setting, thinking it's vague enough to be harmless. But again, trust is eroded. In peer support, vague is not safe. Confidential means lips sealed, period. a sample script you can use as a peer when helping someone feel confident. You can say something like, I'm trained as a peer, not your boss or your clinician.
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This is confidential, except for immediate safety risks or abuse or a specific threat. and I don't keep notes. I've had peer supporters question me on this before. Well, if you give someone those deal breakers from the get-go, won't they clam up and not talk to you? It's possible. And I have some who disagree with me on this point, but hear me out. Let's say they end up saying something that is a definite threat to someone else's life, and you believe they'll carry it out. Or, maybe they are in immediate suicidal crisis, and you end up having to take the nuclear option, taking them to the emergency room. They can't say you didn't warn them.
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Yes, we have an obligation to keep things confidential, but we also have an obligation to save human lives. And we constantly hold that intention. That's why I always encourage peer support teams to train on real-life confidentiality scenarios.
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Things like, what if someone tells you something really concerning, but swears you to secrecy? What if they're not in crisis, but they're clearly falling apart? What if they name another team member who's hurting someone else? Or, what if you're emotionally impacted and want to talk about it with your team? What do you do then?
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Or, what if you get subpoenaed concerning what a peer told you following an incident? Well, for one thing, many states have statutes that protect trained peers from being compelled to testify in court about something they were told while operating as a peer supporter. You've got to walk through these ahead of time. And define your policies and clarify the limits. And make sure your entire team is speaking with one voice about what confidentiality means and where the lines are drawn. Now, let's shift from confidentiality to psychological safety because they really do go hand in hand.
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Confidentiality is about what you do. Psychological safety is about how people feel. feel weak.
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When someone comes to a peer supporter, they're already doing something hard. They're risking vulnerability in a profession that doesn't always reward it.
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They've been trained to be strong, to keep it together, and to suck it up and just move on.
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So, when they step into that space and open up, your response matters. Psychological safety really is built on those moments.
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It's built through listening without interrupting and keeping your facial expression neutral and supportive. Nothing will shut a person down if we show surprise or shock in our body language, our facial expressions.
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Also, it's built through responding with validation instead of correction. asking thoughtful questions instead of offering quick fixes. And that's part of our active listening skills. not using humor to avoid pain or awkwardness. Having a safe person to talk to is not just for first responders and medical professionals. Following the German wings flight 9525, where the first officer who had previously been treated for active thoughts of suicide, but kept this information from his employer, deliberately flew the aircraft into a mountain, killing himself and everyone on board. 150 lives lost because this pilot didn't feel safe talking to anyone at the airline.
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People don't normally think about them. But I've had airline pilots in my trainings learning how to become a peer supporter.
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After the German wings disaster, regulators faced a hard truth.
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If pilots don't trust how their mental health will be handled, they'll hide it. So they required confidential peer support programs across European airlines. Now, pilots have a protected way to talk to peers without risking their careers.
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And safety improved because trust improved. Wouldn't you like the pilot on your next flight to have their heads screwed on straight? Well, that's where peer supporters come in. We have to put people at ease. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say in peer support is, well, that makes a lot of sense. Or, I felt like that too. That's what makes someone feel safe. It's not about having perfect advice.
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It's about being a trustworthy presence. Now, let's talk about how to build trust department-wide. Because even if your peer supporters are rock solid, if the culture of your department isn't supportive, people still won't reach out. So, how do you change that? First, promote the program in a way that highlights confidentiality and safety. Don't just say, hey, we've got a peer support team.
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Say, this is a confidential, voluntary resource where you can talk to someone who understands the job and respect your privacy, and they won't judge you. Here's a policy line you can borrow.
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Say it, sign it, live it. What do I mean by that? First of all, say it. Train every peer on the same opening script that I gave earlier. I'm trained as a peer, not your boss, not your clinician. This is confidential, except for safety risks, abuse, or a specific threat. And I don't keep notes. Your peer supporters need to keep reminding everyone of confidentiality. I say it every time I talk to someone. And it's part of every group diffusing or debriefing introduction and re-entry phase. We say it at least three times. Then, sign it.
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Publish your policy line. Place placards around the department.
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Hand out wallet cards. Post the QR code. Have leaders read it on video and send it out. Always keep it in front of your people.
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And third, live it. No notes. No gossip. Warm handoffs when needed. And follow up at 48 hours. And the next way we can begin to change the culture is share stories. Now, appropriate, obviously, and with permission.
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When someone says, I got help and it made a difference, that builds trust. voice in the department. Keep it anonymous if needed, but don't keep it silent.
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Success stories save lives. We have to lower the bar for people to begin to take care of themselves. And it helps if they hear from fellow peers who got help when they needed it. So many cultures are famous for taking care of everyone else but themselves.
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service was started for clinicians by clinicians. It opened the door. No insurance hoops. No HR. Just doctor to doctor. Private and protected.
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have used it. Why? Because they heard from their fellow physicians about how they were helped and how their privacy would be respected. When the fear of exposure drops, the willingness to get help rises.
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Thirdly, train leadership on how to support, not undermine peer support. If a captain or supervisor says, oh, that's for weak people. Or why don't you just handle your business like the rest of us? That one comment can set your program back six months at least. Leadership has to model openness, respect, and support for the program. And finally, don't tolerate gossip ever. You've got to set the bar high. That means peer supporters who violate confidentiality are removed. Not scolded, not warned, removed. The risk to the program and the people is just too high.
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Let me wrap up with this. Peer support works, but only when it's trusted. And trust isn't built It's built every time a supporter listens well, holds confidence, shows compassion, and follows through. a peer conversation thinking, that was safe, that helped, and I'd go back again. If you're a leader, invest in peer support training.
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Set the tone for a healthy, trusting culture. If you're a peer supporter, protect what's shared with you like it's sacred.
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Because it is. People are handing you their pain. So carry it well. if you're thinking about reaching out to peer support but aren't sure you can trust it yet, listen, I get it.
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I've been there. But I hope you'll give it a shot. There are good people out there who generally want to help, and they've been trained to do it safely. If your department or agency needs help training your peer support team on confidentiality or boundaries and building psychological safety, I'd love to help. You can schedule a free discovery call with me at StressCareDoc.com. And if that was helpful, grab the confidentiality playbook for peer support. It's in the show notes. It includes the exact script, the policy language, a rollout checklist, and a trust scorecard you can start using this week.
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setting this up, there's a link to schedule a short discovery call with me.
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would you consider sharing this episode with them today?
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All of these links will be in the show notes. Thanks for joining me today on Surviving Your Shift. Today, we talked about the heartbeat of every peer support program. Trust. And the way we build that trust, We protect confidentiality, create safe spaces, and we hold each other to high standards.
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