Sept. 4, 2025
Choosing the Right People for Peer Support
Not everyone is wired for peer support—and choosing the wrong people can do more harm than good. In this episode, I’ll show you how to choose the right team members your people can actually trust.
How do you know if someone’s the right fit for your peer support team?
Let’s be honest—just because someone wants to be on the team doesn’t mean they should be. In fact, putting the wrong people in peer support roles can do real damage. Trust gets broken. Teams disengage. And the program quietly falls apart.
In this episode, I walk you through the traits of a strong peer supporter—and the red flags to watch out for.
Whether you’re building your first team or cleaning up one that’s not working, this episode gives you the clarity you need to choose team members who are grounded, trustworthy, and emotionally ready for the job.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL LEARN:
- The six traits every peer supporter must have
- How to spot red flags before they create problems
- Why trust matters more than rank, credentials, or popularity
Peer support only works when your people trust the team. This episode shows you how to build that trust from the start.
Links Mentioned in This Episode
https://survivingyourshift.com/36
https://survivingyourshift.com/questions
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Connect with Bart
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bartleger
Facebook Page: facebook.com/survivingyourshift
Website: survivingyourshift.com
Want to find out how I can help you build a peer support program in your organization or provide training? Schedule a no-obligation call or Zoom meeting with me here.
Let's learn to thrive, not just survive!
WEBVTT
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Welcome to Surviving Your Shift, your go-to resource for building strong, peer support teams in high-stress professions. I'm your host, Bart Leger, board-certified in traumatic stress with over 25 years of experience supporting and training professionals in frontline and emergency roles.
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Whether you're looking to start a peer support team, learn new skills, or bring training to your organization, this show will equip you with practical tools to save lives and careers.
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Hey there, welcome back.
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I'm so glad you're here today.
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Let's be honest. Starting a peer support team is one thing, but building a team that works now that takes intentional choices and the most important decision you'll make is who you put on the team. Now I've helped a lot of departments build peer support programs, and I can tell you this is the part people either rush or totally get stuck on. Some people pick people based on rank. Some pick people because they're nice. Some just ask for volunteers and sometimes the wrong people end up on the team. It can kill a team quicker than just about anything else.
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It can lead to broken trust, especially if the team members can't keep confidence. The last thing you want to hear is that someone divulged what they were told by a peer. That will signal the death nail for your program.
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Having the wrong people on your team can lead to poor engagement.
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These mistakes can even be more damaging than doing nothing at all. roadblocks. So today, we are going to be talking about how to choose the right people to serve as peer supporters in your department and how to spot red flags before they become roadblocks. Let's start with the why. Peer support is different from every other role in your organization. Your organization is not about how fast you can respond or how much technical or tactical knowledge you have.
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It's about being present, listening well, and earning the trust of those you are there to serve. The moment you name someone as a peer supporter, your people will make a judgment.
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Can I talk to them? Will they understand? And are they safe to talk to? If the answer is no to any of these because of past behavior, gossip, poor listening, or a lack of maturity, your people won't reach out to them.
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So picking the right people is not optional. You really do need to get it right from the beginning. And that's why I believe this episode is so important. A peer support team that isn't trusted, it's just a title. So let's begin with the traits that you're looking for
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They're trusted by their peers.
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This is number 1 for a reason.
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The best peer supporters are people others already go to when things get hard. They're people that are human, they're they're the ones who are emotionally mature. They can remain calm when others around them are shaken. And they're real. The word that comes to mind is"steady." You know, they're the person someone calls after a bad call or a rough day, not because they have a title, but because they're considered safe to talk to. If you have to convince people to talk to someone, that's probably not the right person. And they're not the right fit. Because trust isn't assigned. You can't do that. You can't just say trust this person.
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Trust is over time. And in peer support, it's your most valuable currency. If people don't trust someone, they won't talk to them.
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Don't look for people your crew already regardless of their rank.
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And trait number two, a good peer supporter is a good listener. They're not a fixer.
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And we tend to reward problem solvers in our line of work.
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That's what makes them good first responders. That's what makes them good in the ER. But peer support isn't about fixing.
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It's about listening. The best peer supporters aren't the ones who offer quick advice or just try to cheer you up. As I like to put it, good peer supporters are comfortable with discomfort.
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They're just willing to sit, stay present, and say, "I'm here with you." Ask yourself, can they listen without interrupting?
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Can they avoid jumping to conclusions, and can they resist the urge to solve? They try to respond. And if they understand, if the answer is yes, you've got someone with the right temperament or peer support. And trait number three, they're emotionally grounded. You want people who can handle tough emotions without getting overwhelmed. This doesn't mean they're self-awareness. It just means they've done their own work. They've dealt with their own issues. They have what we might call self-awareness.
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People who are self-aware recognize their strengths and their challenges. Self-awareness enables a person to be aware of others' needs and feelings.
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self-awareness. Who have people who have problems with those? Or when they're at the same time, they also know their own limits.
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Now that's important. And they don't use other people's pain as a way to avoid dealing with their own. If someone is still processing a major trauma or is in crisis themselves, they may need support before they're ready to offer it. Maybe they're just not ready yet. The timing is not right. They might be a good peer supporter eventually, when they've worked through, when they've processed. But it's okay to say, not right now. Peer support takes emotional capacity and we need to protect our team members too. Trait number four, I've alluded to this before, but they need to be discreet and confidential. And this one really is a deal breaker. If they gossip, they're out, period.
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Confidentiality is the bedrock of peer support. If your people don't believe their private conversations will stay private, they won't reach out. And let's be real. Firehouses, police departments, ERs, ambulance crews, dispatch centers and the like, these are small communities. And news travels fast. You've got to pick people who can be trusted to hold information tightly. Now that means no vague social media posts. No side conversations at the coffee pot. No, hey, did you hear what so-and-so said to me?
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What's shared in a private support interaction stays there, unless there's a safety concern.
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And then we do what we need to do. And I already mentioned this next one in trait number three, but let me explain a little more about what it means here. A trait number five is a good peer supporter knows their limits.
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Now this one's huge. Peer support isn't therapy. We say that often. We say that during our training. Peer support isn't therapy. Peer support isn't psychotherapy. It's not clinical care. And it's not your job to carry someone else's trauma alone. The best peer supporters know when to listen and when to refer. They're trained in emotional first aid, but they understand when someone needs a counselor. They understand when someone could use the services of a chaplain or other professional help. And they're humble enough to say, you know, this is bigger than me, and still walk with the person through the process of getting support. They don't just drop them. They continue supporting them, even though they've already referred them to a higher level of care. They're also aware when they're not the right person to be the one helping. Maybe they will over-identify with this person.
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Maybe something happened in their own life, and they're not done processing yet. So they know when to tap out and say, have someone else on the team be there for them. So they're a team player. If someone tries to play Savior or Lone Wolf, that's a red flag. These five traits are obviously not the only characteristics your team members should have, but they're the basics. And I guess if I were to make it an even six, the sixth trait would be that the team member should want to be on the team. Those who are voluntold typically won't have the proper passion and empathy for the role expected of them.
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Now, what are some red flags that you need to be watching out for? Let's look at the other side of the coin. Here are some signs someone shouldn't be on your peer support team, at least, maybe not right now. Number one, they've broken trust in the past, or they're known for gossip.
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They're in it for those who dominate conversations instead of listening. You know, consummate talkers. You know, those can work on a team, but they have to know when to shut it down and simply listen. And you also want to be careful that they don't bring their own unresolved trauma into the mix.
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someone who has been dismissive of mental health support in the past or still tend to live by the suck it up mentality. We want to stay away from people who are not emotionally stable themselves as well. Now listen, some of these folks may be great at other things, but peer support isn't for everyone. And if you bring the wrong people on your team, it can really damage the credibility of the whole program. So now, the big question. How do you go about picking the right peer supporters? How do you go about putting together the best team?
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So here are a few ideas that I believe work and others have used in their own agencies and departments. Number open applications with clear expectations. But let me tell you this. This one is not my recommended option. It's, however, an option. Some agencies let people apply, but make the role and responsibilities crystal clear.
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They include also time commitment, training requirements, and core expectations. So people know what they are applying for. With this option, though, I would always follow up with an in-person interview, along with listening to the grapevine concerning their suitability.
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Then the next two are my preferred options. Number two, peer nominations. Ask your staff, who do you or who would you go to when things get hard? These people are the people you want.
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You know, they tend to come pre-vetted by the ones who would be using the support. Then the next one, selection by leadership. Having done your due diligence, talking to the rank and file, you determine who would be the best fit for the team. But be very sure, Pick those who would be best for the team. Then interviews and vetting. Always sit down with potential team members. Ask questions about how they handle stress. And then listen. How do they listen? How do they set boundaries? Get to know them before giving them the title.
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And then set a probation period.
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Let team members know they serve in a trial phase when they're mentored and supported. And what this does is it allows time to see if they can handle the role and if it's the right fit. And if the time comes and either they don't feel they're the right fit, or if you don't feel they're the right fit, no harm, no foul. They know that it was a probation period. And then you need to support your supporters.
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Once your team's in place, remember, they need care too.
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Being a peer supporter can be emotionally heavy. They can hear some pretty tough stories. They will carry the burdens. It's really difficult for us to hear the stuff that other people go through, and it doesn't affect us at all. So check in with them.
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Offer support for the supporters.
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Give them time off if they need it. And make sure they're getting what they need to stay healthy. Because healthy peer supporters build healthy teams.
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Now, before you go, I've got a bonus for you. I've created 12 interview questions designed to help you assess the suitability of your prospective peer supporters. So to download the questions, go to survivingyourshift.com slash questions. And I'll put a link in the show notes. And if you're building a peer support team and want help to figure out how to choose the right people, let's talk. I'd love to walk you through the process and help you avoid the most common mistakes.
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Head over to stresscaredoc.com and schedule a complimentary discovery call. And if this episode was would you do me a favor? Share it with someone in your department or another agency who's helping build or rebuild a team. Let's get this right. Your people deserve a team they can trust. Thanks for joining me today on Surviving Your Shift. Today, we talk through what makes a strong peer supporter, what to avoid, and how to build a team rooted in trust, not titles. Next time, we'll talk about what peer supporters actually do and don't do. Until then, God bless and have a great day.
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Thank you.
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