Nov. 20, 2025

How to Use the SAFER-R Model to Support a Peer in Crisis

Send me a text Don’t guess your way through a crisis conversation. Learn how to use the 6-step SAFER-R model to support a peer through stress, shock, or trauma. Have you ever walked into a conversation with someone in crisis and thought, “I hope I don’t mess this up”? You’re not alone. When emotions are high and someone is overwhelmed, even experienced peer supporters can feel stuck. The good news? You don’t have to guess your way through it. There’s a simple model you can follow that keeps t...

Show Notes
Transcript

Send me a text

Don’t guess your way through a crisis conversation. Learn how to use the 6-step SAFER-R model to support a peer through stress, shock, or trauma.

Have you ever walked into a conversation with someone in crisis and thought, “I hope I don’t mess this up”?

You’re not alone. When emotions are high and someone is overwhelmed, even experienced peer supporters can feel stuck. The good news? You don’t have to guess your way through it. There’s a simple model you can follow that keeps the conversation safe, supportive, and focused.

In this episode, I walk you through the SAFER-R model, a 6-step crisis intervention framework that peer support teams across the country use to help coworkers stabilize, process, and move forward after a tough event.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL LEARN:

The six essential steps of the SAFER-R model
What each step looks and sounds like in a real conversation
How to guide someone through a crisis moment without freezing or fixing

This episode gives you a structured, data-driven approach to one-on-one peer support that actually works, especially when emotions are raw and time is short.

Links Mentioned in This Episode:

CISM Quick Reference Cards - https://www.cismbookstore.com/content/critical-incident-stress-management-cism-quick-reference-cards

Schedule a call with Bart: https://stresscaredoc.com/consultation

This 3-day course, hosted by the Atascocita Fire Department, will teach you how to support your peers through effective communication, emotional resilience, and understanding the psychological impact of crises.

Dates: January 6-8, 2026
Times: 8:30 AM - 5:00 PM each day
Location: Atascocita Fire Admin Building

If you're receiving value from this podcast, consider becoming a monthly supporter—your gift helps me keep producing these practical episodes. Become a supporter today.

Connect with Bart

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/bartleger

Facebook Page: facebook.com/survivingyourshift

Website: survivingyourshift.com

Want to find out how I can help you build a peer support program in your organization or provide training? Schedule a no-obligation call or Zoom meeting with me here.

Let's learn to thrive, not just survive!

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Have you ever been in a situation where someone's in full-blown crisis and you're standing there thinking, I want to help, but I have no idea what to say next? Well, you're not alone. A lot of peer supporters freeze in that moment, not because they don't care, but because they've never been taught how to walk someone through a crisis safely and step-by-step. In this episode, we're going to fix that. I'm going to walk you through a simple six-step model called Safer R. It's the backbone of what we teach in crisis intervention training, and it gives you a solid structure to follow when someone's world is spinning and they need a calm, steady

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Welcome to Surviving Your Shift, your go-to resource for building strong, peer support teams in high-stress professions. I'm your host, Bart Leger, board-certified in traumatic stress with over 25 years of experience supporting and training professionals in frontline and emergency roles.

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Whether you're looking to start a peer support team, learn new skills, or bring training to your organization, this show will equip you with practical tools to save lives and careers.

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Welcome back. What I'm covering today is simply a form of psychological first aid. It's not magic or the only way to help someone in crisis, but it's a structure I know works, and I've been using it for over 25 years. Things are always easier when you have a model to follow, a structure.

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The model I've seen that you have a model to follow, and it's not something you need to memorize word for word. It's meant to guide you, and as you learn and you practice it, it should begin to sound like a conversation, not a memorized script. The model I'm talking about is called Safer R, and the R, by the way, stands for revised. Safer R is a structured model used in critical incident stress management, or CISM for short, and is designed to guide peers through a one-on-one crisis intervention. It's not therapy, it's not therapy, and it's not counseling. What it is, is peer-level crisis support. So let's walk you through what each step looks like in real life.

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Each step will begin with a different letter in the acrostic, Safer. So the very first thing before you dive into any deep conversation is to the individual. So before you do anything else, you've got one job, and that's to help the person feel safe. That's what we mean by stabilize. Now that could mean a couple of different things depending upon the situation. If they're in a place that's loud, chaotic, or crowded, the first move might be just to gently say, Hey, let's step outside for a second, or let's get out of the heat, or do you want to sit down here for a few minutes? You're looking to get them to a quieter, more private place where they can breathe without distraction or feeling watched. It could be as simple as helping them sit down, offering them a bottle of water, or just slowing down the pace of the interaction. It could be helping them call someone, call a loved one, or getting them air conditioning if it's hot outside, or getting them out of the rain.

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The goal isn't to solve anything right away. The goal is to help their nervous system start to downshift. or flight status, they won't be able to think clearly, and they definitely won't be able to talk about what just happened to them in a meaningful way. And here's the deal. Sometimes you might be a little rattled, too. Maybe you were there, or maybe you were just coming off your own call.

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So stabilizing them also means you need to slow down, lower your voice, be aware of your own body language. If you walk up in a hurry, talking fast and looking tense, that's going to feed their anxiety. But if you're calm and centered, it gives them something to mirror.

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That's co-regulation, and it matters more than you think. So no deep questions yet. No, what happened? How are you feeling?

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Just creating a calm environment.

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Think of it like triage. You're not doing surgery. You're stopping the bleeding. You're offering safety, not solutions yet. Because as we said earlier, you can't have a meaningful conversation with someone whose brain is still in survival mode.

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And the moment they feel even a little more grounded, that's when you can move forward to the next step. The next step is acknowledge. Once the person begins to settle, maybe their breathing has slowed and they're no longer pacing, or they finally sit down and make eye contact. They look at you. Now it's time to acknowledge what they've been through. And I know this sounds simple, but this step is pretty easy to overlook sometimes. We want to help, and we want to ask questions, and we want to move forward. But if we skip the part where we recognize what they've just experienced, they're not going to feel safe enough to open up any further.

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where you might say something like, what happened sounds really difficult, or I can't imagine what it was like for you.

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don't need to fully understand every detail, but you do need to show them that you see what they've been through is really difficult for them right now, and that you're not rushing it off or rushing past it. This is where you would encourage them to tell their story of what happened. Now this is about validating. And by that, I mean giving their permission to feel what they feel without judgment.

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you don't want to do is minimize what they've been through or what they're experiencing right now. So you want to avoid phrases like, well, at least it's over now, or it could have been worse, or even you're lucky it wasn't worse. Now I know these phrases come from a good place, and sometimes we say those things because we're trying to help the person feel better. But here's the problem.

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Those kinds of comments can make people feel like their reaction is too much, or over the top, or maybe they're being dramatic.

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And when someone feels dismissed, even unintentionally, they tend to shut down. Acknowledging their pain doesn't make it worse.

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It actually does the opposite.

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It tells them what happened to you matters, and your reaction is valid. You're not weak. And most importantly, you're not alone. And honestly, sometimes that's the first time they've heard that. So before you move forward, pause and acknowledge.

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Reflect back what you're seeing, hearing, and what you're feeling from them. And that moment of connection might be the most powerful part of the entire conversation. And then number three, the F stands for facilitate understanding. Once you've helped the person feel calm and safe, and that you've acknowledged what they're going through, your next step is to start helping them make sense of what just happened. me be clear at this point. You're not there to try to explain things to them necessarily. And you're not trying to analyze the situation or even connect all the dots.

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What you're doing here is creating space for them to process it out loud.

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can feel jumbled. It's like they've got a thousand puzzle pieces dumped on the floor with no idea where to start. And you're just helping them pick up one piece at a time and turn it over. You can do that by asking a few gentle, open-ended questions. Nothing forced. Just questions that invite reflection.

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You could try something like, What's standing out the most to you right now? What's been the hardest part of this so far? Or even what's circling around in your head right now? Sometimes people don't need advice. They just need a safe place to say it out loud. When they hear themselves talk, their thoughts could begin to line up. The fog can start to lift. And that's what this step's all about. And then listen. It's not the time to try to fix anything, necessarily. It's a time to listen more than you speak.

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You're helping them organize their thoughts and emotions so they feel less overwhelmed. And the magic of that is, just by listening, you help them regain a sense of control. One of the most healing things you can say during this part of the conversation is, You're not crazy for feeling that way. I mean, seriously. That sentence alone can bring people back from the edge. Because when someone's overwhelmed, they often feel like they're losing it. When you normalize what they're feeling, even if you don't or they don't fully understand it, You give them a little bit of solid ground to stand on. So again, your job is not to solve the situation. It's to help them put language to what they're experiencing. And that clarity alone can bring a sense of relief. Next, encourage adaptive coping. All right. Now that the person is starting to come down from that initial emotional spike. And they've had a chance to talk through what they've been feeling. This is where we start to gently shift the conversation toward healthy next steps. Notice I said gently.

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That's not the moment to launch into a list of things they should do. Because you're not giving them a homework assignment. You're helping them figure it out. What's the next thing right now that I can do to take care of myself right now?

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The way you do that is through the questions. And then you can offer some suggestions later on maybe a couple of new things they could try. You could try something like, What's helped you in tough moments like this before? Or, What have you tried before that helps you relax? Or, Brings you some peace? Or, What would feel helpful for you right now? It could be rest, talking to someone else, or stepping away for a bit. These are pretty simple questions. I know, but they matter. They do a couple of important things. Number one, they remind the person that they've gotten through hard things before. And number two, to decide what they need to do or what they could do next.

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Because when someone's in crisis, they often feel powerless. By giving them space to rest and reflect on what works for them, you're helping them take a small step forward and regaining some control. Now, there's a time when you might need to offer gentle suggestions. Maybe they can't think of anything in the moment. Maybe they're just blank, and that's okay.

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Maybe they can't think of anything in the moment.

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Maybe they can't think of anything in the moment. Maybe they can't think of anything in the moment. Maybe they can't think of anything in the moment.

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Maybe they can think of anything in the moment.

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Maybe they can think of anything in the moment. Maybe they can think of anything in the moment.

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Maybe they can think of something in the moment.

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Maybe they can think of anything in the moment. And I think of anything in the There's no difference. Number five. Restore adaptive functioning. Now, let's talk about the step that often gets overlooked. That's helping them get back to what they're doing. Helping them get back to functioning. Even if just a little bit. How you approach this really depends on where you are in the moment. Some people are totally disoriented. They're emotionally flooded. And maybe they might even be physically shaking. Others may be mostly composed but still shaken up a bit. And unsure what to do next.

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Your goal here isn't to push them back to. And I'm using air quotes. Pushing them back to normal. You're just helping them to take one small step towards stability. A small step re-engaging with their world.

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Even if it's just in a small, manageable way. That could look like helping them call their spouse or loved one. Just to let them know they're okay. Or walking with them back to the break room. The station or wherever they need to go. So they're not alone. You could be asking, "Have you eaten today?" And encouraging them to grab a snack or a drink or some water.

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And you've probably already done that in the stabilized step. Or it could be letting them rest somewhere quietly so they can reset their body a bit.

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Sometimes it's as simple as saying, "Let's take a walk." Or,"How about we just sit here for a few minutes?" It's not about doing something huge. Just helping them start moving again.

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And so they don't get stuck in that crisis movement. Here's how I like to think about This not about rebuilding the whole house.

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It's about putting down the first brick after the earthquake.

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It's the moment where someone says, "Okay, I'm not okay, but I can take the next step." And that's where the real recovery begins. I'll sometimes ask a person, "What do you plan on doing when you leave here?" Now that question is a pretty good way to determine where their head is and if they're okay to let them get back to work or to head home. One thing to remember, you're not the one deciding what functioning looks like. You're partnering with them to take whatever step fits for the moment. It's not about productivity. It's about presence. It's about progress.

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It's about helping them and helping them be safe as they move forward. So whether it's helping them reconnect with a routine, get their body some basic care, or just offering to sit with them while they This step's a pretty big deal. It's what keeps people from getting stuck in shutdown mode. You're reminding them that life can continue, and they're not alone in figuring out how. And finally, refer when necessary. This is probably one of the most important things a peer supporter needs to know how to do. That is, to know your limits.

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Know when it's time to get someone connected with professional help. If the person you're talking to is showing signs of suicidal thinking or serious impairment or trauma that goes beyond what peer support is designed for, you must get them to the next level of care. And that's not failure on your part. I think this is responsible peer support. The next level of care might be a department psychologist, could be a chaplain, a licensed counselor, or their agency's EAP provider. And here's the key.

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Referral should feel like a bridge, not a handoff. You're not saying, "Well, that's above my pay grade. Good luck." You're saying something like, "I'm really glad you told me all of this." It takes a lot of courage to open up like that. I think it might help to bring in someone who's trained to walk with you through this long-term. If you want, I can help you make that call, and I can even go with you.

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You're still there, you're still walking alongside them, but you're also guiding them to someone who can provide the level of care they need and deserve. You know why that matters? Because most people, especially in our line of work, don't want to talk to a counselor or a therapist, but they will talk to you. And if you can help build the bridge from peer support to professional support, you just might save a life. And here's one more thing: Don't ghost them after the referral. Just because they're now under a counselor's care doesn't mean your job is done. Keep checking in. Send them a quick text maybe.

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Thinking about you today, let me know if you need anything. Or call them up or text them and say, "Hey, let's meet for lunch, let's meet for coffee," whatever.

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Those simple, thoughtful check-ins reinforce that you care. the developer could be a little bit more than a moment.

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And this wasn't just a one time conversation. That's how you build real trust and long-term peer support culture. You're not trying to do it all. You're just making sure no one falls through the cracks. Now, let's wrap this up. That's the SAFER-R model.

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Stabilize, acknowledge, facilitate understanding, encourage adaptive coping, restore functioning, or refer if needed. You don't have to memorize the words, but if you remember the rhythm, the flow, you'll always have a guide in these crisis moments. And you'll show up ready to be there for someone. If you're a part of a peer support team and have been through the Assisting Individuals in Crisis CISM training, consider ordering a pack of quick reference cards from ICISF.

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You You can purchase these from the ICISF Bookstore. I'll go ahead and leave a link for the cards in the show notes.

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Practice this skill with your peer support team. Roleplay it.

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Go through the steps with another team member using a real life scenario. It might feel clunky at first, but that practice pays off big when the pressure's on. And if your team hasn't had formal crisis intervention training, reach out.

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I'd love to walk your group through it. discovery call.

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Thanks for joining me on Surviving Your Shift. Today, you learned how to use a step-by-step structure to guide a peer through a moment of crisis without panicking and without guessing your way through it. Next time, we're going to be talking about the diamond communication structure.

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It's a powerful way to help people tell their story after trauma. This one's an incredibly helpful way to help people begin to tell their story. Until then, take care of yourself and take care of your people. God bless and have a great day. Thank you.