The Diamond Communication Structure: Your Roadmap for Crisis Conversations

Ever sit with a peer after a critical incident,

knowing the need to talk, only to have them stare at the floor

or say, I'm fine? You don't want to push, but you also know

silence isn't helping. This episode will give you a simple

structure to guide the conversation and help them open

up without making it weird.

Welcome to Surviving Your Shift, your go-to resource

for building strong, peer support teams in high-stress

professions. I'm your host, Bart Leger, board-certified in

traumatic stress with over 25 years of experience supporting

and training professionals in frontline and emergency roles.

Whether you're looking to start a peer support team, learn new

skills, or bring training to your organization, this show

will equip you with practical tools to save lives and careers.

Have you ever sat with a peer after a tough call? Maybe

it was a fatality, multiple fatality, a child death, or an

officer-involved shooting, and you could just feel the weight

of what they were holding, but they wouldn't talk. I mean,

you're sitting there, trying to be present. You know they need

to say something, and you want to help, but all you get is, I'm

okay, I'm good, I'm fine, or it is what it is, and inside you're

thinking, how do I get them to open up without pushing too hard?

Now, that moment can be one of the hardest parts of peer

support, because if you push too soon, you can shut them down, or

if you wait too long, you might miss the opportunity, and they

might not say anything at all. Today, I'm going to teach you a

simple tool I call the Diamond Communication Structure. It's

what we teach in Critical Incident Stress Management, and

all it is, really, is just a simple way to ask questions to

help someone begin to open up and talk about their experience.

It's not a script, but it gives you a natural, repeatable way to

help someone open up after a critical incident, helps them to

tell their story, and begin to make sense of what they've just

been through. Okay, now, let's walk through how it works. When

someone's in crisis, their nervous system is often

overwhelmed. They may be disoriented emotionally, all

over the place, or may be unsure what to do next. That's not the

time to hit them with deep, open-ended questions like, how

are you really doing, or tell me everything that happened.

Instead, what we want to do is begin with some short,

closed-ended questions that help the person feel safe, help them

feel oriented, because they're already uncomfortable. We don't

want to make them more so, so what we do is begin with

closed-ended questions, ones that really only require a

yes-or-no answer. You might ask something like, Are you okay

sitting here for a few minutes? Yes or no. Can I get you a

bottle of water? Yes or no. Do would somewhere quieter help?

and help ground the person in the present moment. You're

helping them feel seen and supported. This beginning part

of the diamond is really all about creating safety and

structure. You're saying, I'm here with you, and you're not

alone, and you don't have to figure everything out all at

once. And once you've helped them feel safe and grounded with

those simple, closed-ended questions, it's time to gently

widen the conversation. This is where we move into open-ended

questions that invite them to start sharing their story. This

is the middle of the diamond. If I were to illustrate it

graphically, it's just a square on its side with a point on top,

widens out to a point on either side, and a point at the bottom.

The open space in the middle is where you invite the person to

share more of their experience in their words.

Here are some open-ended questions that work well in this

phase 2, can you tell me a little bit about what happened?

What happened after that, what's been the hardest part about this

for you? What These questions give people the freedom to open

up. They let the story unfold without judgment or a fixed

agenda. The person gets to choose what they share and how

they share it. This middle section is where the healing

really starts. It allows them to verbalize what they've been

through, to tell their story. You're helping them put to

language their experience. You're validating that what

they're going through matters. You're reminding them that

they're not crazy, they're not weak, but they're human, and

they're hurting. And remember, silence. It's okay here. If they

need time to think, or to cry, or to gather their thoughts, go

ahead and let them. Your presence really is doing more

than you realize. After they've had the space to talk and you've

listened without rushing or interrupting, it's time to bring

the conversation back together. This is where paraphrasing helps.

You wrap things up in a way that helps them feel like they've

been heard and understood. Now, once they've shared what they

needed to share, we don't just abruptly end the conversation.

We narrow again, but this time not with questions. We bring the

conversation to a close or to a point where we paraphrase what

they've told us. It's what we call the summary paraphrase. You

might say something like, "So what I'm hearing you say is…"

or "Sounds like you've been trying to…" And then we

complete the sentence with a summary of what we've heard them

say. When you paraphrase, you're validating what they've just

said you were listening and then clarifying that you understood

it correctly because you care enough to get it right. Honestly,

sometimes in that moment, the moment where someone hears their

pain reflected back with compassion is the thing that

shifts everything. It brings clarity and it can bring relief

and it certainly will help them to trust us more. It builds

trust. It builds trust. So you can ask, "Did I get that right?

Is there anything you want to add or correct?" That keeps the

focus on them while showing that you're open and you're teachable.

This closing part of the diamond helps them feel seen and heard

and supported and it gives you both a chance to breathe before

moving forward. And there's a reason why this structure works.

The diamond communication structure works because it's

intuitive and it's also intentional. We start with

closed-ended questions to establish facts. We then move to

open-ended questions to expand exploration. And then we wrap up

with summary paraphrasing to capture the essence of what's

been said. And we can then ask a follow-up question or repeat the

diamond. I mean, you're not guessing your way through the

conversation. You're following a flow that feels natural to the

person you're helping without putting pressure on either them

or yourself. Whether you're talking to a co-worker after a

hard call or sitting with someone who finally admits, "I'm

not okay." This framework helps you stay calm, present, and

effective. Now, if this structure helps you feel more

confident in tough conversations, how about sharing this episode

with your team or save it to listen to again when you need a

refresher? These tools only work when we practice them. And if

your department needs help getting started with a peer

support team or maybe wants training that goes deeper than

the surface-level stuff, head over to StressCareDoc.com and

schedule a free discovery call with me. I'll help you build a

peer support team that actually works. And thanks for joining me

today on Surviving Your Shift. Today, we walk through the

diamond communication structure. It's your roadmap for guiding

others through effective peer conversations. Next time, we're

going to dig into one of the most important skills a peer

supporter can have. That is... Active listening. We'll talk

about what it actually means, why it's so hard, and how to get

better at it without zoning out, trying to fix the other person,

or making it about you. Until then, God bless and have a great

day.