What to Do After a Suicide Attempt or Death by Suicide in Your Agency

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5. You walk into work, and something just feels off.

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The room is quieter than usual. People are standing around in

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small groups, and you catch bits and pieces. Did you hear about?

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They said it was last night. Then you see the text from a

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co-worker, or you hear it in a briefing. Hey, everyone, we need

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to let you know one of our own attempted suicide last night. Or,

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we got the word this morning that one of our team died by

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suicide. Time slows down. Some people stare at the floor. Some

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go straight into work mode. Some get angry. Others start trying

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to figure out the details, and maybe you're standing there

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thinking, What do I do now? What do I say? How do I support my

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people without making it worse? In today's episode, we're going

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to talk about what to do after a suicide attempt, or a death by

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suicide in your agency. How to support the team, how to honor

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the person, and how to navigate all the ripple effects without

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causing more harm.

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Welcome to Surviving Your Shift, your go-to resource

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for building strong, peer support teams in high-stress

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professions. I'm your host, Bart Leger, board-certified in

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traumatic stress with over 25 years of experience supporting

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and training professionals in frontline and emergency roles.

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Whether you're looking to start a peer support team, learn new

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skills, or bring training to your organization, this show

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will equip you with practical tools to save lives and careers.

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This is one of the hardest realities we face in

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high-stress professions. Sometimes, even with peer

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support, chaplains, EAP, and good leaders, we still lose

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someone to suicide. Sometimes, someone attempts to end their

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life and survives. And when it happens inside your agency, it

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hits differently. It's not just another call. It's your people.

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It's not just another number in the statistic. It's someone you

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trained with. Someone you share a truck or a unit with. Someone

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you laughed with at 3 a. m. In those first hours and days, a

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lot is happening all at once. People are in shock. There's

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grief and anger. Most of the time, there's confusion and

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rumors start flying. Folks are asking what they're allowed to

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say. Some are trying to protect the family. Others just want to

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know what actually happened. And there's tension between wanting

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to honor the person and not wanting to glorify suicide. And

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for some, there's a very quiet, personal reaction. If that

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happened to them, could it happen to me? You don't have all

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the answers when this happens. But if you're in peer support or

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in leadership or in chaplaincy, or maybe you're just the person

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folks tend to go to when things get pretty tough, it helps when

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you have a framework. So in this episode, we're going to walk

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through a few things. First, what to focus on in the first

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hours and days after a suicide attempt or death by suicide.

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Second, how to talk about it in ways that are honest but don't

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make things worse. And third, how to support the people who

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are closest to the situation. And then fourth, how to honor

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the person without glamorizing suicide. And then, what ongoing

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support looks like as the weeks and months go by. And then

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finally, how to take care of yourself and your peer support

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team along the way.

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Let's start with those first 24 to 72 hours. When a

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suicide attempt or death by suicide hits your agency, your

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first job isn't to have the perfect words. Your first job is

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to help stabilize the situation emotionally and operationally.

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Seriously. I like to think of it in three buckets. Safety,

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support, and communication. First of all, safety. If we're

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talking about a suicide attempt and the person is alive,

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obviously, their immediate medical care and safety come

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first. But there's another layer here. The emotional safety of

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the people around them. You want to ask yourself, who is most

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impacted right now?

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the dispatcher who took the call if it's in your jurisdiction,

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the emergency room staff who received them, or maybe a close

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friend on the job. You also want to ask, do we have people

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working today who are too shaken to be on a high-risk assignment?

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Sometimes just adjusting assignments or giving someone a

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chance to step aside for a bit can prevent a bad situation from

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getting worse. This isn't about being soft. What it's about is

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recognizing that when people are in shock or raw grief, their

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decision-making can be affected. Second, let's talk about support.

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As soon as possible, you want visible, accessible support in

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place. That might mean peer support team members making

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themselves available, chaplains being present, or making sure

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people know how to connect quickly with EAP or a clinician

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who understands the first responder or medical culture. In

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those first hours, you may not need or want a big formal

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debrief. What's often more helpful is providing a quiet

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place where people can step away and talk, and having a few

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trusted folks simply walking around and checking in with

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simple questions like, how are you holding up? Or, you don't

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have to be okay right now. Just giving people permission to feel

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what they're feeling is often the first level of support. And

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then there's communication. How leadership and peer support

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communicate in those first hours sets the tone for everything

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that follows. The goal is to be truthful but not to share

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unnecessary details about the method or the location. You want

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to use clear, respectful language like,

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We're deeply saddened to let you know that, and you give their

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name, one of our own died by suicide last night. Many of you

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work closely with them, and this is going to be a heavy day. Peer

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support and chaplaincy are available if you want to talk,

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and we'll be sharing more about support options as we go. If it

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was an attempt, it might sound like, give their name, attempted

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suicide last night, and is currently receiving medical care.

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We're still gathering information, and we ask that you

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respect their privacy and their family's privacy. This may bring

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up a lot of emotions for many of you. Peer support and chaplaincy

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are available if you'd like to talk. That's clear and

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compassionate, and it gives people the essential facts and

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points them toward support feeding rumors.

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And then, once the initial shock settles a bit,

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people start talking more. How we talk about suicide after it

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happens really matters. We want to be human and honest, and we

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also want to avoid glorifying what happened and sharing

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graphic details that add trauma or unintentionally giving ideas

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to someone who's already vulnerable. You're going to hear

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questions, and people are going to ask, how did they do it, and

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where was it? Who found them? That curiosity is normal. But as

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peer supporters and leaders, we don't need to feed that

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curiosity. It's okay to say something like, I know people

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want details, but sharing methods and specifics can really

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hurt others and even put vulnerable people more at risk.

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What matters right now is that we support each other and get

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help if we're struggling. Language matters also. Phrases

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like committed suicide can sound like a crime. like they took the

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easy way out are shaming and judgmental. Instead, stick with

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language like they died by suicide or they took their own

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life. They were struggling with more than we know. That language

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respects the person and the people who are grieving without

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glorifying what happened. We also want to be careful not to

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turn someone into a hero because of the way they died. We can

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absolutely honor their service, their courage on the job, their

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kindness, their impact they had on us without framing suicide

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itself as noble, brave, or something that would be

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understandable. A leader might say they served this community

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well for many years and many of us are here today because of

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their courage and their hard work. At the same time, their

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death by suicide is a tragedy. If you're feeling anything like

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they were feeling, we want you to reach out before it gets to

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that point. In that way, what we're doing is we're honoring

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the person but we're not holding up suicide as a model. We also

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can't ignore social media. In today's world, it's often where

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people process, vent, and share and it can spread a lot of pain

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very quickly. You might encourage people to avoid

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posting detailed accounts of what happened. Avoid graphic

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language and be mindful that family members, co-workers, and

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even the person themselves, if they survived, might be reading

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every word. A simple internal reminder can help. We know many

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of you will want to post tributes or express your grief.

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Please do so in ways that respect the person, their family,

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and your co-workers and avoid sharing details of the suicide

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itself.

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And we know not everyone is impacted in the same

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way. Some folks will be sad but functional. Others will feel

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like the bottom just fell out. As peer supporters, we pay

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special attention to what I call the inner circle. That might be

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the partner or closest co-worker, the shift or station that worked

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most closely with the person. The dispatcher or the emergency

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room team directly involved in the event. It could be

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supervisors who had a close relationship with them and

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anyone who shares similar struggles. Things like marital

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problems, disciplinary issues, health crises, that sort of

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thing. With that inner circle, it's important not just to sit

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back and wait for them to find you because many won't. Instead,

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make intentional contact in a low-pressure way. That might

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sound like, I just wanted to check in. How were you holding

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up with everything that happened? Or, you were really close to

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them. I know this must be hitting pretty hard. I'm

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available if you want to talk now or later. you're not forcing

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the conversation. You're simply opening a door and making it

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clear they don't have to carry it all by themselves. You also

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want to normalize the full range of reactions. People may feel

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deep sadness. They might feel anger at the person and they may

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feel guilty. They may be asking themselves questions like, why

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didn't I see it? Why didn't I stop it? Some people might feel

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numb like they can't anything at all. Some might even feel a

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little relief especially if that person had been struggling in a

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very visible way for a long time and they may feel guilty for

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feeling that way. You can say things like, whatever you're

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feeling right now is understandable. There's no right

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way to react to something like this. Or, a lot of people feel

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anger or guilt after a suicide. If that's you, you're not the

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only one. And don't forget this. suicide in the agency can stir

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up pain in people who are already having a hard time. If

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you know someone who has talked about suicide before or who's in

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the middle of a divorce, disciplinary process, or a

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serious health issue, or any other type of loss, this is a

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good time to check in with them intentionally. Not with panic,

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but you want to show that you care. open up with with

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everything that just

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happened. I wanted to see how you're doing. I care about you.

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I don't want you to carry this alone.

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And then how do we honor the person without

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glamorizing suicide?

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how do we honor someone who died by suicide? do a funeral?

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Or just a moment of silence? A patch or a plaque? And what if

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our policies treat suicide deaths differently from line of

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duty deaths? All of that can bring up a lot of hurt and anger.

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There's really no single or simple answer that fits every

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agency's policies and cultures and belief systems vary. but

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there are a couple of guiding ideas that can help. The first

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is to separate the person from the manner of death. We can

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absolutely acknowledge their

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years of service and their impact and the good they did. We

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can support their family and co-workers in their grief. We on

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and

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off duty. All of that matters. We just want to be careful not

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to frame suicide itself as something noble. Leaders might

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say something like, we are grieving the loss of someone who

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served this community well and meant a great deal to many of us.

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Their death by suicide is a tragedy and our hearts go out to

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their family and friends and co-workers who are hurting today.

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If this loss brings up painful thoughts or memories for you,

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please reach out. We don't want anyone to face that alone. The

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second idea is to be thoughtful about memorials. Some agencies

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will have formal ceremonies, others will not. Whatever your

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agency decides, that decision is going to land emotionally on

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people. Some will feel supported, others may feel like their

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co-worker was minimized or forgotten. As a peer supporter,

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you may not control the ceremony, but you can help people process

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their reactions to it. You might hear, it's not fair, they didn't

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get the same honors, should be doing all this. You can respond

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with, I hear that you're hurt and angry about how this is

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being handled. it makes sense you'd feel that way. And then

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gently bring the focus back to what this loss means to them

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personally and how they're coping, not just the politics of

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it. Also, remember, the formal memorial isn't the only way we

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honor someone. The way we remember them in our stories and

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the way we check in on their family, the way we care for each

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other afterward, those are powerful forms of honor also.

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And finally, whether it's a briefing, a memorial, or a

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gathering, it's wise to include a brief reminder that helps

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available. Something as simple as, if this loss stirs up a

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suicidal thought or painful memories for you, please reach

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out to peer support or a chaplain or a clinician. And

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there's even a crisis line. You don't have to carry that alone.

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And then, what about the weeks and months after?

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After a while, the shock fades. The calls keep

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coming, the schedule keeps rolling, from the outside, it

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can look like everything's back to normal. But inside, the

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ripples from a suicide or suicide attempt can last a long

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time. As peer supporters, you want to be especially aware of

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anniversaries. The one month mark, the six month mark, the

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one year mark, birthdays, holidays, agency events where

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the person's absence is obvious. Also, pay attention to similar

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calls, suicide scenes, certain types of medical emergencies,

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situations that mirror what happened. All of those can be

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triggers for folks who are already impacted. You don't

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always need a formal event around those dates, but it can

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be powerful to quietly check in with those closest to the person,

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to be a little more visible and available as a peer support

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presence, and if it fits your culture, to encourage leadership

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to offer a brief acknowledgment.

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of you as you remember and put in their name. If you need to

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talk today, peer support and chaplaincy are available. Now,

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in the case of a suicide attempt where the person survives and

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comes back to work, there's a whole other layer.

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vulnerable. exposed,

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or worried about how people see them. Their co-workers, on the

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other hand, may not know what to say. Some might avoid them out

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of awkwardness. Others might make jokes to break the tension,

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but those jokes can cut deep. Peer supporters can help shape

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that culture. You can encourage co-workers to greet the person

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like a human being. Good to see you back, or I'm glad you're

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here. You can gently call out shaming or cruel humor if it

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pops up. And you can check in privately with the person after

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they return. You could ask something like, how's it feeling

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to be back? or is there anything you're worried about with being

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here again? And remind them, you don't have to go through this

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alone. If it gets heavy, you can come find me. Your goal is to

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help rebuild connection and dignity for someone who's walked

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through a very dark season.

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And what about you? We can't end this conversation

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without talking about you. If you're in peer support,

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chaplaincy, leadership, or you're simply the person, like

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I've said before, others come to when things go sideways, a

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suicide or serious attempt in your agency doesn't just land on

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them, it lands on you too. You may be the one holding everyone

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else's grief, sitting with their anger, their guilt, and their

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confusion. And you may feel the pressure to handle things the

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right way or to not make a mistake or to be strong for

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everyone else. And you may have your own history with your own

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losses and this stuff stirs this up. You can't carry all of this

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by yourself. so after the initial surge settles a bit,

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make space for yourself and your team. that might look like a

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peer support team debrief. And it's not about policies and

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logistics, but about how it felt to walk through this. Give your

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team permission to say, wow, that was intense. Or, I keep

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replaying my last conversation with them. Or, I'm scared I

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missed something. Watch yourself and your peers for signs of

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compassion fatigue. You know, that tired, numb, I've got

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nothing left feeling. Or even moral injury. that deep sense

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that something about this is just wrong and unfair. And maybe

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anger at the system or leadership. Or it could be even

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anger at God. If you notice that you're dreading peer calls or

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feeling more cynical, you might be snapping at people or pulling

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away from the team, that's your warning signal. That's your

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dashboard light. That's a sign you may need to step for a bit.

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Talk with a trusted chaplain, mentor, or a clinician who gets

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you and reconnect with things that refill you. It could be

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your faith, your family, hobbies, friends outside the job. Because

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you can't prevent every suicide. Your role is to show up

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faithfully to do what you can with the tools you have and to

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stay healthy enough to keep doing it over time.

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Now, let's pull all this together. When there's a

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suicide attempt or death by suicide in your agency, your

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focus is first on safety, then support and clear, compassionate

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communication. Make sure people who are most impacted are not

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left to white-knuckle their way through that and that they know

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your support is available. Be careful how you Avoid graphic

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details. Use respectful language and don't glorify suicide but do

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honor the person's life and service. And then pay attention

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to the inner circle, the folks closest to the situation and to

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people who are already struggling. Check in with them

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on purpose. Normalize whatever they're feeling and give them

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room to talk. As time goes on, remember that the ripples last

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longer than the news cycle. Watch for anniversaries and key

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dates and similar calls. If the person survives and returns to

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work, help your agency welcome them back with dignity instead

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of shame. support too. And through it all, take care of

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yourself and your peer support team. What you're doing is

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really heavy and important work. You deserve support too. You

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can't fix everything and you can't undo what's happened, but

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you can be a steady, compassionate presence that

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helps your agency walk through one of the hardest seasons

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without falling president. your agency doesn't yet have a plan

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for how to respond after a suicide attempt or death by

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suicide, now is the time to start building one before you're

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in the middle of a crisis. If you'd like help training your

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peer support team or developing a response plan that fits your

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culture, you can schedule a free discovery call with me at

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stresscaredoc.com slash consultation. In the next

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episode, we're going to talk about how to support a co-worker

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who's returning to work after time off for a mental health or

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suicide attempt, what to say, what to avoid, and how to help

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them reintegrate without adding stigma or awkwardness. Make sure

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you're following the show so you don't miss it. Thanks for

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listening to Surviving Your Shift. Until next time, God

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bless and have a great day.