The Signs of Compassion Fatigue Every Peer Supporter Needs to Know

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When's the last time someone checked in on you? And

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no, I don't mean the hallway version where you cross each

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other and ask, how's it going? I mean the kind of check-in you

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give the people you support. If you're a peer supporter, you

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spend a lot of your time showing up for other people. You take

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the calls, you carry pieces of their worst days, and you do

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because you care about this work and that caring has a cost. If

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you're not paying it'll take more from you than you realize

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until one day you notice you've got nothing left to give. Today,

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we're talking about compassion fatigue. We're talking about

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what it how to spot it in yourself, and what you can do

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about it when you can't just disappear for a month to recover.

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So stay

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Welcome to Surviving Your Shift, your go-to resource

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for building strong, peer support teams in high-stress

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professions. I'm your host, Bart Leger, board-certified in

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traumatic stress with over 25 years of experience supporting

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and training professionals in frontline and emergency roles.

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Whether you're looking to start a peer support team, learn new

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skills, or bring training to your organization, this show

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will equip you with practical tools to save lives and careers.

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Welcome This podcast exists to help peer supporters

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do this work well and to keep doing it for the long haul. So

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if you're new here, I'm glad you found us. I want to talk about

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something that doesn't get enough attention in peer support

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circles, and it's the toll that this work takes on the people

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doing it. We train peer supporters to watch for signs of

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struggle in others, but we don't spend nearly time teaching them

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to watch for those same signs in themselves. So let's fix that

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today. Before we go further, a quick note. This episode is here

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to help you recognize what's happening, and point you toward

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what helps. It isn't a substitute for working with a

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licensed clinician. If the signs I describe sound like where you

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are right now, would you consider reaching out to a

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professional who understands the first responder or the medical

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or whatever culture that you're in? Getting your own support is

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how you keep doing this work. So let's start with where this idea

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came from. Because compassion fatigue isn't a new concept. The

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was first used in 1992 by a nurse researcher named Joinson,

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who saw it in emergency room nurses absorbing the suffering

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of patients day after day. And then Dr. Charles Figley later

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expanded on her work. What we've learned since is that people who

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do empathy-driven work, the ones who genuinely care are at

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measurable risk for a specific kind of exhaustion that goes

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beyond just simply being tired from the long hours. Burnout

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researcher Pines wrote that burnout can only be experienced

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by people who enter their careers with high ideals,

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motivation, and commitment. Probably sounds a little bit

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like you, doesn't it? He said you cannot burn out unless you

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were on fire initially. He says people that don't care rarely

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get compassion fatigue because they don't have compassion in

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the first place. I want you to think about that for a second.

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The very thing that makes someone a good peer supporter,

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the fact that they care, is what puts them at risk. And that's

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what happens when you do emotionally demanding work

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without enough recovery built in. Now, you've probably heard the

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terms compassion fatigue and burnout used interchangeably. I

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know many have, and I've probably done it in the past

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also. They're related, but they work differently, and the

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response to each is different. So let's sort them out. First of

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all, burnout is a psychological syndrome that develops from

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long-term exposure to chronic interpersonal stressors on the

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job. It erodes slowly, and it undermines your well-being, your

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self-confidence, and it affects your psychological health before

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you even recognize it's happening. The indicators? Those

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would be things like chronic fatigue, cynicism. I know we get

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to have that first responder culture. But then we also begin

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to feel a loss of future orientation and then ultimately

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resentment. Then there's self-medication, which we all

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know in first responder culture usually means alcohol. We all

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know it shows up, and we all know why. Compassion fatigue, on

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the other hand, is more specific. It's what happens when absorbing

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the emotional pain of pile up faster than you can process But

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here's a way to picture it. If a caregiver becomes consumed by

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compassion and neglects their own self-care, then compassion

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fatigue sets in. It gets in the way of your ability to function

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well, and in some cases, it takes away your ability to

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anyone at all. The key word there is consumed. Caring

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without recovery is what wears a peer supporter down. Here's

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where compassion fatigue gets personal. partially protected

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from, and there are a few reasons why. Think about what

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makes peer support work in the first place. We have social

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support. We have experiential knowledge, meaning we know what

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the job entails. We've done the job, so we know what other

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people are going through. And then there's trust,

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confidentiality, and there's easy access. They have access to

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us, sometimes 24-7. Those same features are what make the role

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demanding in ways clinical professionals are partially

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protected from. Like I said, a therapist has a clinical

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supervisor to debrief with, a caseload with defined session

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limits, and they have a structured between sessions and

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their personal time. peer supporters, on the other hand,

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typically don't have any of that. You're a coworker, and you're

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trusted, and you tend to be always available, which means

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people come to you at 11 p. m. on a weekend after a rough call,

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and there's no end-of-session structure to protect either one

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of you. The confidentiality requirement, we know it's

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essential, also means peer supporters can't easily process

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what they're carrying because you can't just go to a colleague

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just tell them what a struggling peer supporter said to you. So

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you tend to hold it inside, and when the demands keep piling up

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faster than you can cope with them, that's how the damage

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happens. Add in the fact that most peer supporters are still

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running calls. They're still doing the operational job.

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You're doing this role on top of a career that already carries a

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heavy psychological load. And within first responder

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professions, the risk of some form of psychological impairment

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is much higher than in the general population. Peer are

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first responders doing first responder work and peer support

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work at the same time. So what does this look like when it's

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happening to you? Here's what to watch for in yourself. First of

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all, emotional exhaustion that doesn't lift after rest. You

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sleep reasonably well, but you wake up empty. You're already

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drained before the day starts, and that's chronic fatigue, and

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that's paired with loss of future orientation, meaning you

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stop being able to picture things getting better. And then

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we have detachment from the role. The calls that used to feel

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meaningful start to feel like something to get through. You

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find yourself going through the motions without really being

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fully present. And there's cynicism and depersonalization.

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It's the mind's attempt to protect itself creating distance.

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And then there tends to be irritability out of proportion

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to the situation. Things like you yell at your three-year-old

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for spilling milk at the breakfast table. You snap at

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your spouse or significant other over something that would have

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rolled off you six months ago. Small things at home or at work

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start setting you off in ways that don't match the actual So

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that's usually a sign that your nervous system is overloaded.

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When you should be off the This is a feature of what we call

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secondary traumatic stress. And it often shows up alongside

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compassionate in people doing peer support work. And avoidance.

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That's the next one. You don't answer the phone as quickly as

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you used to do. You hope someone else steps up for a particular

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situation. And then you feel guilty about it, which in turn

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adds another layer of weight on you. And then there's loss of

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empathy. This one is pretty hard to admit because you pride

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yourself in the empathy that you have for those on your team or

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those within your profession. You hear about someone's

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situation and instead feeling concern, you feel nothing or

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maybe you feel irritation. That's your nervous system

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attempting to protect itself through what we call emotional

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numbing. It's a sign that you're depleted and the depletion's

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reached a clinical level, potentially. A person in that

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place needs support. Okay, so if you've recognized yourself in

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some of what I just described, the next question is what to do

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about it. And I want to be practical here. Regular exercise

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is one of the best tools for people managing chronic exposure

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to other sufferings. And the reason it works is pretty simple.

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Exercise gives your body a healthy way to burn off the

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stress hormones that pile up when you absorb emotional weight

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without a physical release. And then beyond exercise, there's a

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difference between processing and resting. Rest helps with

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physical fatigue, but it doesn't resolve the unprocessed

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emotional weight that comes with compassionate fatigue. You need

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somewhere for it to go. might be a conversation with a trusted

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person outside your department, a time with a chaplain who

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understands first responder culture, or a counselor or a

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therapist who specializes in first responder wellness. them,

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someone who can absorb what you can't share with the team

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because of confidentiality. And training and good oversight also

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help protect peer supporters. If you've got regular contact with

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a clinical supervisor or program coordinator, someone who's

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watching for signs of strain, you're going to be in much

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better shape than a peer supporter running without that

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kind of backup. And I want to say this plainly. Getting your

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own support is part of the peer support role. A 2018 study by

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Nolitt and colleagues found that people trained in a form of

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psychological first aid, similar to what we use in assisting

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individuals in crisis part of critical incident stress

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management, showed significant lower compassion fatigue scores

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a full year after training compared to where they started,

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despite repeated exposure to difficult situations. So

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training and support protect the supporter. Let me give you

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something you can use after a draining conversation or maybe a

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hard week. Think of this as a reset routine. Name it first,

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just in yourself. Something like, that conversation tough. It was

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a lot to carry. Putting words to what you're feeling takes some

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of that edge off physiologically. naming what's happening. Naming

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what's happening is the first step toward not being controlled

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by it. And then move your body within the next hour if you can.

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It might be a walk, a workout at the gym, even five minutes

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outside. It gives your body a healthy outlet for the

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neurochemicals that built up during that stressful

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interaction. It doesn't have to be long, but you need to do

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something physically. Then reconnect with someone who has

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nothing to do with the situation. Not to process it with them, but

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just to get back to the rest of your life. Strong social

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connection is one of the most reliable things we know for

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bouncing back from stress. You need contact with people who

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remind you that there's a world outside. There's a world outside

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of the weight that you're carrying. And then at the end of

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each week, take five minutes and ask yourself, am I dreading any

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part of this role right now? Is there anything from the last few

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weeks that I haven't set down yet? I haven't processed. Do I

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need to flag anything to my coordinator? Those questions, if

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you ask them regularly, can catch a problem before it gets

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to a clinical level. One more thing before we close, and I

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believe it's an important one. What to do if you see these

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signs in somebody else on your team. You do what you do for any

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peer who's struggling. You show up and you ask a direct question.

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Something like, I've noticed you seem off lately. I'm not trying

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to pry, but I wanted to check in. How are you doing? How are you

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doing, really? Then you listen without trying to fix it. The

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quality of the connection, I believe, matters more than the

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advice. Don't remind them they signed up for this. Don't tell

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them just to push through. If stepping back from active duties

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for a while makes sense, then help them make that possible. A

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program that runs through its won't last very long. Protecting

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your team members is part of protecting the program. So

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here's what I want you to take from this episode. Compassion

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fatigue is a predictable response to doing emotionally

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demanding work without enough recovery. We've known about it

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for a long time. If you've recognized yourself in anything

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I described today, that says something good about you. You're

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present in the work. You care about it. That's exactly the

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kind of person who needs to hear this episode. Caring well over

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the long haul means protecting yourself along the way. Watch

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for the signs I described. Use the reset routine. Get your own

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support when you need it. If you're building or leading a

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peer support program, build the assumption into your structure

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that your peer supporters will need care too. Because they will.

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And if you'd like help building a peer support program that

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sustains the people in it, I'd love to talk. Visit

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StressCareDoc.com to schedule a complimentary discovery call. If

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this episode helped you, would you consider sharing it with

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your peer support team or someone else? Putting the right

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information in front of someone at the right time is often the

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most useful thing you can do. Thanks for joining me on

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Surviving Your Shift. I'll see you on the next episode. Until

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then, God bless and have a great day.